We also re-organize books for clarity, putting the most important principles first, so you can learn faster. Other summaries give you just a highlight of some of the ideas in a book.
We find these too vague to be satisfying. At Shortform, we want to cover every point worth knowing in the book. Learn nuances, key examples, and critical details on how to apply the ideas. You want different levels of detail at different times. That's why every book is summarized in three lengths:. The things you do to show love for your partner indicate a feeling that love is best expressed in those ways.
How you show your When both people have full tanks, expressing and sharing love can become reciprocal and enjoyable. No one is perfect. Mistakes get made. When you want to assuage an argument, acting within their specific language can signal to them your efforts and commitment.
If you and your partner are in a rut or spiraling toward the end, changing your behavior to match their love language can begin to fill their tanks and breathe life into your relationship. When they first fell in love, she and Glenn spent hours together talking or enjoying each other.
Glenn had a different attitude when they used to be more physically intimate. He also felt like Ann nagged him all the time. To understand what Glenn really needed, Ann asked him what she could do to be a better wife to him. She took the information he provided and used it to create a plan of action.
She started looking for positive things in his life for which to provide words of affirmation. She also started initiating more intimate touches. Afterward, Ann asked for feedback on how she was doing in being a better wife. Then, a week after receiving the feedback, she made specific requests of something he could do for her. Through this process, she was letting him know what her primary language was.
She followed this pattern of feedback and requests once a month for six months. At first, Glenn reacted cooly. But soon, he began providing more positive feedback and responded positively to her As a child grows older, their language is not likely to change, but they way want to receive love may change.
The love languages stem from an emotional place inside us. Although stereotypes of men seeking physical touch more than women or women desiring affirming words more than men abound, each person is different. What makes a person feel loved has less to do Listening to your partner talk about their day and asking questions to understand how they feel will let them know you care and are willing to be there for them. Talking about your past or fears with your partner will tell them you want them to be part of your life completely.
A small present brought back from a business trip makes your partner feel special because you were thinking of them. A diamond bracelet will elicit the same response as a crocheted scarf. The feeling will still be of being loved enough to receive something from you. Sometimes, your mere presence is the gift your partner needs. If they are in crisis, being there as a shoulder, sounding board, or comforting presence is enough to represent your love for them.
Prioritizing a request for your presence over work or previous plans shows them how much their feelings matter. Not all acts are created equal. Understanding which acts will serve your partner best means understanding their life enough to know how to help and their expectations enough to know what they want done for them.
If your partner frequently complains about a certain task at home, pitching in to remove that task from their day is an act of love. If you know your partner hates walking the dog at night, taking over that duty will fill their tank.
If your partner wants more time to themselves, taking the kids out one night a week will speak volumes of love. A hand on the shoulder may be desired more than a kiss on the neck. Physical intimacy may express love more than holding hands, or vice versa.
This action does not communicate love. There are endless ways of expressing love through touch. Have fun learning what sort of touches your partner likes. Who Speaks Which Language? Often, what you tend to want the most reflects the way you believe love is best expressed.
Are you always vying for compliments? Do you like to hug or hold hands more than anything else? Do you wish your partner would help out more around the house? Do you long for a date night? Think about what makes you feel hurt or unloved. The ways in which we feel dejected or rejected can speak to the ways in which we want to be loved. Do you feel crushed if your partner insults you?
Do you feel resentful of the amount of time your partner spends at work? Does it bother you when your partner leaves without kissing you goodbye? Does a general gift leave you feeling empty? Think about how you show love to your partner. The ways in which we make an effort to show love also speaks to how we feel love is best communicated?
Do you find ways to touch your partner to show you care? Do you tell your partner how wonderful they are on a frequent basis? Do you like to surprise your partner with small tokens of love? You may feel uncomfortable giving compliments. You may feel resentful of needing to find gifts. You may feel too busy to make time for your partner. Keep a list of words or phrases that make your partner happy. Adjust your schedule to allow for at least a few minutes a week of dedicated time. Communicate with your partner about how you can help make their life easier.
Start with small touches and move on to more significant touches after becoming more comfortable and receiving approval. Books Video icon An illustration of two cells of a film strip. Video Audio icon An illustration of an audio speaker. Audio Software icon An illustration of a 3.
Software Images icon An illustration of two photographs. Images Donate icon An illustration of a heart shape Donate Ellipses icon An illustration of text ellipses. The 5 love languages Item Preview. EMBED for wordpress. Want more? We do not guarantee that these techniques will work for you. Some of the techniques listed in The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts may require a sound knowledge of Hypnosis, users are advised to either leave those sections or must have a basic understanding of the subject before practicing them.
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